Thursday, August 8, 2013

Seven Months

Dear Tabitha,
You are seven months old today! You've had another busy busy month of growing and adjusting to life! You started the month off with another reminder that you are Loved. Not just by your Mommy and Daddy but by your heavenly Father! We had a little accident involving your carseat that ended with you on the pavement of a parkinglot and substantial bump on the head. I lost several years of my life worrying over you the next 48 hours or so, but other than some initial crying and the awfulness of being poked and prodded at the hospital you came out no worse for wear! ( but you've now visited the Picu and the Pedicu...busy girl)  How blessed and happy we were! And how much I was reminded that you are indeed our miracle baby!

In other much less dramatic news, thankfully, you went on another plane trip this month to a Calhoun Family Reunion. No one would even have GUESSED that you've suffered from such crazy stranger danger the last few months because you smiled and flirted with complete strangers at the airports and on the planes and continued to charm the pants off of everyone at the family reunion too! Its funny that now you seem to definitely have a preference for men and the rougher the better. There was a big dude with a huge beard sitting behind us on an airplane and as soon as he caught your eye you started grinning and cooing. You're too funny!

We had such a great time at our family reunion and you got to meet so many people that have prayed for you over the last year! Its hard for us to believe that at our last family reunion you and your sister were still hanging out in my tummy all teeny tiny! As easy as you were to carry around in my tummy you're almost as easy outside. You were SO good traveling-sleeping whereever you needed to and not putting up a fuss when you couldnt sleep at all or when your meals were a little off schedule. You continue to blow my mind with how wonderfully laid back you can be.

We ended your month with a visit to Nacogdoches for Ransom's birthday, you showed your angel colors yet again by being SO good on the train ride birthday party. It was super HOT and you completely missed a nap and yet you just chilled in peoples laps and looked around at all the people. THANK YOU for making our lives such a joy!

This month you continued to perfect your sitting skills, I'd say you've mastered the art, and the way you've started lunging for anything in sight I bet you aren't happy being stationary for too much longer. You're still working hard on your first tooth ( or teeth?!) but not one has pushed through yet! However, this month we did start you on some solid foods! I've gone so much slower than with Ransom, but you've enjoyed everything that's been put in front of you. In fact, if we don't get it into your mouth fast enough you start lunging at the spoon with your mouth open like a little baby bird. While we've let you play with some cheerios and mum-mums you're not a fan of the "actual" solid foods...maybe its going to take some teeth before you figure out the actual "chewing" concept!

At the end of this month you've started taking "cat naps" instead of actual normal length naps so it looks like you'll be dropping a nap in the coming weeks. It will be interesting to see how our days change now that you'll only have two naps...Whatever happens we are so grateful for your little life and the joy that it brings all that you've impacted. If there is one thing I have learned in your seven months of life it is that Life is a Gift and I am thankful every single day that I get to spend living it with you!

We love you baby Bee,
Mommy

Saturday, July 6, 2013

six months old

Dear Tabitha,

Your fifth month was quite a busy one and a growing one for you! As I mentioned last month you had some pretty significant stranger danger that meant that even friends could not make eye contact with you for long periods of time ( and strangers?! definitely not!) without you bursting into dramatic tears. I was starting to think it was going to go on forever and we'd have to buy stock in Kleenex, but lucky for you and us, we had a month stock full of visitors that basically FORCED you to become more social.

We had about a three week period where we had some College friends of Brett's come visit us before starting more of their training to become missionaries in South America. Your namesake Tabitha visit from Canada and your Papa and Spicy from Nacogdoches. At one point we had five adults and two other children in the house with you. Through sheer survival you learned that other people deserved your smiles and the privilege of holding you just like your family. Well done!

On June 6th ( so barely into your 5th month) you laughed for the first time. It was pretty cute. I was holding you while Ransom was "doing his business" on the potty. I was also reading the book "Blue Hat, Green Hat" to Ransom. It seemed like, for the first time, Ransom got the humor of the book and started belly laughing. You in turn started laughing at Ransom laughing and it was like a bathroom comedy hour! Now you laugh quite frequently, but mostly at Ransom or other children.

The other thing that you did for the first time this month was sit up by yourself! You still can only do it for about 10 seconds at a time before you start to leeeeean forward for support, but you're pretty adorable and look very grown up when you're practicing.

You had your very first Independence Day in Nacogdoches and you were very good and allowed all sorts of strangers to look at you and hold you! You seemed to really loved meeting many admiring fans and family members and we hope that you'll start to show the love more and more in return! Afterall, pretty is as pretty does!!

We are still struck by what an easy going baby you are and how, even when you haven't gotten good sleep or you are hungry, you really are very good about not making too much of a fuss! You still light up when you see your Daddy or Mommy or Ransom walk into your view and you love to chew on anything that is within your grasp!

You are our Angel and our little Miracle and with thank God for you every single day!

Much love, Mommy

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Five Months

Dear Tabitha,

You are five months old today!!
You had a busy month of growing and learning. For starters this month you had your four month wellness check up. This was rough for you because it required another person outside our immediate family to make extended eye contact with you. This made you beyond sad. You were definitely Miss Sensitivity this month! But I enjoyed some extended snuggle times with you after your appointment, and I must admit that I love it when your Daddy watches your brother so I can hold you while you sleep. Snuggles with you are a gift from God.

Your stranger danger got pretty extreme this month, you literally cried when people looked at you on FaceTime, or when I tried having you facing outwards in the carrier at the grocery store. ( all things I tired to get you use to other people!) you even cried at other moms holding their own babies... Lucky for us our Aunt Donnave came to visit us this month and she did a great job of helping you work through your hesitations and by the end you had learned to smile and be happy around another person! This is good because you have such a sweet smile! We hate not getting to share it with others! Remember that you are a miracle to a LOT of people, my dear!

This month you continued to develop your voice and are really good at babbling and often let out little squeaks and high pitched screams ( very girlie of you). Your eye hand coordination continues to develop and you can now grab toys and shake them around, or more than likely, stuff them in your mouth.

You continue to be a really easy baby to have in our family, even if we're out and about and you miss a nap time, you're so laid back about it. Even though you are now way too alert and looking around to fall asleep outside your bed most of the time, you're very contented to sit quietly and look around, even when you're tired.

Tabitha you are such a sweet heart and you bring such joy to our lives, we look forward to all that you will continue to learn and do, and we look forward to when you will understand all the many gifts The Lord has given us in you!

Love you,
Mommy

Thursday, May 2, 2013

4 months

Dear Sweet girl,
This month we finally got over the grumps at night...either you grew out of it, or we finally wised up and put you to bed earlier...probably a bit of both! Parenting is such a crazy guessing game sometimes.

This month you learned to roll over ( from tummy to back)! Yay! You did it for Papa and I when we were visiting Nacogdoches. You rolled over 3 times in a row just to prove that you really knew what you were doing. Speaking of our trip to Texas. You also chose that time to get a serious case of Stranger Danger and proceeded to cry when all of your grandmothers tried to pick you up! What gives?! Those ladies would do ANYTHING for you! But don't worry, you will soon learn your mistake and they are all very forgiving.

Along with rolling over you are now sleeping with one arm out of your swaddle. Your left arm to be exact, and you do the cutest thing: you loop your arm around your bears leg ( or arm depending) and nuzzle in.... You will often hold on so tight to your bear that when we go to pick you up and you're still asleep, we'll take bear along too by accident, because you just dont let go. I hope you love your bear as much as Ransom loves his!
One thing I KNOW you love is your own fist. You try to shove the whole thing in your mouth all at once, and you enjoy chewing on as much of it as you can manage.

I would give your current schedule. But right now that's a bit tough to say... You're going through another growth spurt and are eating extra meals at random times and getting up earlier in the morning. It does not make this Mama very happy, but then again you growing healthy and strong DOES make me happy and I am continually reminded how quickly this time is over! You're already four months old! This is hard for me to believe.
You continue to bring us all joy every day. You are truly our little miracle and I hope that I never forget what The Lord did in giving you to us.
This month we got to walk ( just kidding you threw a royal fit right before the walk started and had to stop to eat) in the Nacogdoches March of Dimes with our friend Dub Dub. We love honoring her twins Elliot and Evan and all the other babies that have benefited from that organization every year. This year I can truly say I understood and appreciated the stories of these families struggles and stories so much more because of this last year with you and your sister. Another gift you have given me!
Dub Dub also surprised us with stickers that read "Honoring Tabitha and Remembering Priscilla" on them for her whole team to wear. It was so sweet and your Mama cried. We are truly blessed by wonderful friends!

I'm excited to begin a new month with you, I know we have many fun new milestones to go through together!
We love you "baby bee",
Mommy







Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Dear Priscilla,

Dear Priscilla,

Your sister is 3 months old today and that's when I mark things like how much she's grown and what she's learning and doing. It is days like this that make me miss you the most. You see, when you went to be with Jesus before you could even make it outside to meet us, I knew that you were going to a place that would be without pain, without sorrow and that by going there before you were born you would miss out on some awful things-like pimples, heartbreak, bad hair days, traffic jams, hunger, bullies, taxes, sickness, suffering and sin, all things that a Mama never hopes here child would face, but that she just might have in her life. And in this way, I was able to comfort myself when we lost you.

But, when I look at your sister and when I see her little grin and I rock her and think about her future life-a life that I hope includes, days that she feels beautiful, days that she feels smart, a day she knows that Jesus loves her and that she wants a relationship with Him, days when she finds purpose in her life, a day when she finds someone who loves Jesus too and that will love her above all others, a day when she might marry such a person, days that she gets to meet her own children-physical or spiritual, a day when she sees beauty in life....and as her mother, I look forward to hopefully getting to celebrate with her on such days. And, to be honest, it makes my heart hurt that I will not get to do the same with you.

It hurts my heart when I hung Tabitha's baby picture on the wall last night and it was virtually identical to Ransom's newborn picture. Identical. To think that in someways I get to see your face every day in my other babies, and yet I still long for yours! Strange.
But then when I do start to feel sad about all that you are "missing" I hear a little whisper in my heart reminding me that Heaven is not just the absence of bad things, it is also the very FULLNESS of all good things! You my dear are both beautiful and smart every single day, and you also know Jesus in a way that even your Mama doesn't understand, but I do envy! You also are not alone in that love, but are enjoying the great "cloud of witnesses" as the Bible calls them, young and old-but all ageless in heaven. You are living in a world of True Love.

So where does that leave us, your parents... Your sister, who I am sad will miss the joys of having you as an earthly sister, where does it leave us? Well, I've thought about it and I think your absence from our lives has left a hole. A hole that must be filled, with either grief , pain and despair OR hope and faith and conviction. It is my job to fill that hole, and loosing you has made me choose how I'd fill it all over again. It has made me look harder at my take on Reality. Thank you for giving me surer footing on that which I choose to stand. Thank you for giving me legit ties to heaven even now, and thank you for your little life that spent twenty one weeks with your sister and I. One day we will celebrate the life you're living now, together with Jesus. But until then know that I love you,

Your Mommy

Sunday, April 7, 2013

3 months

Happy three months, baby girl! You celebrated in the best way this Mommy knows how, by giving up your 3am feeding! Yay!! Mama is soooo happy!
You've also switched to mostly 0-3 clothing and moved on to size 1 diapers. Best of all, you're squarely in the double digits weight wise. Hello 10 lbs 4 oz!
All in all you're growing up and still such a sweet girl, though you've recently developed the nasty habit of crying and crying at bedtime... Whether we go earlier or later, you are not a happy camper... But we are on the case, and hopefully we can make you a happy girl again soon.

Much love
Your Mommy



Sunday, March 31, 2013

2 months ( looking back)

Dear Tabitha,

I am a second child too, and your Daddy is the third, so we definitely know what its like to be the "younger" sibling! And so I totally understand it if, you bring up the fact that I missed your second letter....but believe me when I say, if the current circumstances had happened with Ransom I would have missed a letter then too!

That being said, let me catch you up on the last month of your life! We've moved to Texas! Now you're in your home state and we're so happy to be here! When you were 9 weeks old, your brother and Ms Deb and I took a two day trip from Georgia to Texas, and then a week later you and I took one more day trip to our new home in San Antonio. Can I just stop and say that you were a DREAM BABY!?! You literally slept and sat quietly in your carseat the WHOLE WAY unless you were hungry and then you'd wail a little bit until we stopped to feed you! What a sweetie you are!

On our way to our new home in San Antonio, we stopped in Nacogdoches for a week. You got to see your Spicy and Papa and Nana and Grandpa and Mimi, you got to meet your Uncle Josh for the first time and play with your cousins and Aunt Anna and Uncle Ryan. But my favorite day of the trip was definitely when we went to Bethlehem Mission and we got to show you off to our church family there. You were so surrounded by love and it was so striking to me that these were the people who prayed so hard to keep you in my tummy and for your heart to be healed. You, my dear, are so loved! And many people exclaimed that God must have great things for your future. And indeed He does! But even now, in your present days He is using you to remind others of what He can do! That is a very cool gift to have!

We are now in our new home and your first week here was not your best...you had a bad head cold and  you can put any pig to shame with your awesome snorty ways! But, don't worry, its very cute ;-) But now we are settled in and hopefully creating a normal schedule again. For my own reminder here's what a normal day for you looks like:

You wake up around 6am and ask "sweetly" to eat ( scream). I then feed you and lay you back down and you usually sleep a little more until 9am when you eat again. This is when I "officially" get you up for the day. You watch your brother play or eat breakfast or come along with us on some morning adventure, and you usually take a nap around 10 or 10:30. So far you're still happy to take a nap in your car seat if needed, which I know Ransom and Mommy are both happy about! You wake up from your nap around noon and eat again ( as you can see, you're living the 3 hour eat/sleep schedule dream right now). Then you're up for another hour and usually go down for a nap again around 1:30. You are usually pretty good about going down for a nap, but you usually cry a little before each nap time. But never longer than 30 minutes ( but believe me, 30 minutes seems like a looooong time when someones screaming). But once you're good and swaddled and have your paci , have had your cry-you go right to sleep. The schedule continues on at 3pm and 6pm eating times, and then you go to bed around 8pm. You often have a rough time going to sleep at night and we start the sleep process around 7:00 but you usually take a good hour to get nice and settled-you'll sleep on and off between crying from 7-8.
I will then get you up at 10pm for a "dream feed" and more settled into the night. After that feeding you go right back to sleep until 3am when you wake up and eat again. I'm hoping beyond hoping that you'll drop this feeding soon. Mama wants to sleep through the night again one day...but I'm not pushing you! You're still my tiny little thing and I figure you need as many meals as you can get!

I hope that now that we are more settled into our new home I will do better about sharing about your days. You have a wonderful little smile that lights up your whole face. You like to follow your brother around the room with your eyes-he is definitely the most interesting thing going on around here! And he is very sweet to you and loves giving you kisses and asking you if its ok if he plays with your bear. He also likes to lay on blankets with you and pretend that you're riding a boat or a trolley or a plane or whatever other kind of motor vehicle he feels like "riding" with you.  I know the two of you are going to have great fun together!

Love you with all our hearts,
Mommy