Dear Tabitha,
You are one month old today. This is MIND BLOWING because when I think of all the things that we've fit into the past month its hard to believe its just been four weeks.
Sure, I've shared your birth story but I havent shared that just three days after you were born you went into the clinic at Texas Children's Hospital and we were told you were jaundice and that meant that you'd need to be admitted BACK into the hospital, into the NICU and go under the big blue lights....Now, many people when I announced this news on facebook, told me that this was NO BIG DEAL and that babies get treated for jaundice all the time ( and for the record, they are right). But I was a bundle of nerves and emotions and for the first time since you were born ( with Ransom it was more like the first 12 hours so I was getting better!) I totally lost it. I cried and cried in a little waiting room while your Daddy went to get me pain meds because lets just say that sitting on a really hard chair for 8 hours is NOT good for a Mommy's recovery. And then when we arrived in the NICU and were given our own special little room ( this was a super blessing from the Lord, everyone else was in one big room together!) and your Daddy told me to go back to the Ronald McDonald House to rest, I told him he'd have to physically RIP me from that room before I'd leave, and I MEANT IT. You couldnt get me to leave you if armageddon was literally happening all around....You and me, baby girl, we're connected.
So, we spent a long 24 hours in the hospital, you tanning and me pumping ( you would eat faster from a bottle and therefore spend less time outside of your lights...). But, when we left we left in good health, and I was once again reminded just how LUCKY we were with you. In fact, I think that has been the theme for me this month...You are healthy little girl and that's a blessing.
Yes, it seems that God has spent all month reminding me about your good health...by giving me bad health. Ive spent more time in the hospital and the ER this month than I have since....well, October when I actually lived there. And every time another illness or bat sent me to the hospital I was reminded that it wasn't you. That YOU were a perfect little baby.
Yes, this month you've had some nipple confusion ( due to those lovely bottles in the NICU) and therefore you got cut off of the paci and bottle cold turkey for a while. This month you've mostly slept during the day , but these last few days you've spent more time awake during the day ( crying) and it looks like we'll have to start putting you on more of a schedule soon to help you take better naps, because when you ARE awake you aren't very happy and only like to be held. This isnt cool when your brother and a house that's about to be moved to a different state are calling my name, but mostly you're the kind of baby that I'd like to just hold all day.
The other wonderful thing about this month is that you've gotten to meet a lot of the people that prayed for you while you were in my tummy. I got to watch person after person hold you and fawn over you and experience their own little miracle. Because that's what you are, you aren't just our miracle, you are the miracle of many....and just as the Bible says about your name sake, we hope that because of your Life many will come to believe in Jesus Christ.
As of today you weight 6 lbs 10 oz...which is awesome! You've gained over a pound in your first month of life! Good work baby girl!
We love you,
Mommy
